Saturday, March 14, 2009

Things Toddlers Teach Us...

So over the past month or so Dan and I have been learning some very interesting things... from a toddlers perspective!!

  • Eyelids are used to cover the eye balls... this means that you will be checked to make sure that EVERYONE has eyeballs. To check you must poke. It doesn't matter if you human, dog, or cat... we must check for the presence of eyeballs! Also note that just because you have been checked before doesn't mean that you won't get checked again... and again... and again.
  • Why eat the ritz portion of your ritz bits when all you want is the confetti creme in the middle?? Take apart, eat cream, feed remaining stuff to Sophie. Repeat this process until you have eaten all the frosting on all the ritz bits your mother gave you... and then scream for more. Then when your mother asks you why you don't eat the whole cracker and tells you to quit feeding the dog, give her the most dirty look you can come up with, cross your arms across your chest and hrmph! That is SURE to prove your point.
  • When you fall out of bed at night, no need to climb back in... just sleep in a crumpled heap on the floor. Except for when your mother is super anal and can't allow you to do that. Then wait until she scoops you back up and puts you in... sometimes three or four times a night!
  • You may be bottom of the pecking order for the humans... but that leaves the dogs and cats to boss around. Yelling at Sophie to "stay!" is sure to make her know that you are the boss! Forcing her to lay down, while you smash on top of her and give her kisses also works well.
  • When your mother asks you to be good for three minutes so that she can pee alone, it soooooo means that you are going to tear apart the couch and use it to build a fort... oh and strip your clothing off as fast as you can! Nothing is more fun that bouncing on couch cushions while you scream in glee at your naked accomplishments!
  • Some things are just worth going into the time out corner for. End of story.
  • Rules which used to apply to you now only apply when you feel like listening... which mean 99.99% of the time that rule is meant for everyone else but you.
  • Don't touch means that as long as you touch it with one finger they can't possibly get mad at me. Even after being told ten times not to touch it.
  • Boogers=Treasure!!
  • The world is divided into two categories.... Things that will fit in ears and things that won't!! Make sure you try everything that you find just to be sure!!
  • FindersKeepers!!
  • There are three types of food... 1. will happily eat and then ask for more 2. will ONLY eat smothered in ketchup 3. foods that are determined to be too utterly disgusting so they must be shoved back at your mom while shouting NOOOOOO!!!
  • There will be no negotiations!!
  • No doesn't always mean no... and Yes probably doesn't mean yes after all.

1 comment: